The Five Worst Pop Songs of 2010

Before anyone reads this I just want to give much love to all of my friends working hard at major labels to promote artists and bring success to their companies. For what its worth, each of these singles was commercially successful in their own right and any criticism is not of the artist itself but of the single. Each of these artists has had at least one single in their careers that I have loved...........it's just that the classically trained university music major in me has certain creative and artistic standards that these particular tracks failed to meet. It concerns me deeply that pop songs that are lyrically inspiring, rhythmically innovative, structured according to the rules of Western music theory and delivered with genuine vocal talent are becoming increasingly rare. This is how I've chosen to complain. Here are, in my opinion, the worst offenders of 2010.

Eminem
"Not Afraid"

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone

You know what irritates me most about this track aside from the bland, predictable, faux-inspirational chorus? The fact that urban artists and producers use so little creativity in order to deliver something that is no doubt intended to be a dramatic statement. To put things in perspective, here are just a handful of the other songs that have incorporated the overused i-VI-III-VII chord progression in recent years:

"Holiday" - Green Day
"Poker Face" - Lady Gaga
"American Girls" - Counting Crows
"One Of Us" - Joan Osbourne
"Numb" - Lincoln Park
"Lost" - Coldplay
"Love The Way You Lie" - Eminem & Rihanna

Here's what I think happened. Eminem and his producers worked tirelessly in the studio for months to create gritty, heartfelt and unique tracks that are Eminem's forte. Then somebody stood up and said "Hey guys, the album is done, now let's throw something together that radio stations will play." Anyone agree?

Usher
"OMG"

Is Usher even trying anymore? Seriously. Had this song been released without any edits by Andy Samberg as an SNL parody, all of America would have gotten the joke; coming from an established R&B vocalist with a 16 year run of legitimate chart-topping hits, it fell flat. The 'song' (and I use the term loosely) wreaks of laziness on the part writer/producer will.i.am in both songwriting and production. "OMG" comes off as a pathetic attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator with pointless chanting, autotune and a years old web culture reference. Its almost like he took the gems from his 2004 multi-platinium release "Confessions," dumped them into a Brita filter and poured pop music lovers a glass of what was left. Drink up!

Justin Bieber
"Baby"

He's young. He's cute. He's got a decent voice. He plays the guitar. He's white. So here is my question: whose brilliant idea was it to turn Justin Bieber into a faux hip-hop/urban crooner, pair him up with a low-brow rapper and throw him onstage alongside hip hop dancers? Wouldn't it have made more sense to brand him as an acoustic singer/songwriter (I'm thinking a young Jason Mraz), pair him up with legitimate songwriters instead of urban beatmakers who wouldn't know a harmonic progression if it bit them on the ass and let him share his talents without adding the urban elements? Just because he was discovered by Usher doesn't mean he needs to be Usher, right? The Garage Band beats, uninspiring chord progressions, predictable melodic line and obnoxious 1-word chorus are simply an embarrassment to a young talent that I truly believe is capable of more.

Rihanna
"Rude Boy"

As a man, the lyrics of Rihanna's "Rude Boy" make me.....well.......uncomfortable. I mean, I grew up with Madonna and Britney-- overt female sexuality is neither surprising nor threatening in the least. But on what planet do these qualify as song lyrics?

Come here rude boy, boy can you get it up?
Come here rude boy, boy is you big enough?
Take it, take it, baby, baby

Not to mention the fact that these three lines repeated endlessly over unchanging beats and chord progressions comprise about 90% of the song. Pointless garbage, but if absolutely nothing else it makes me all the more grateful for the colorful and provocative video.

Taylor Swift
"Mine"

I don't mind Taylor Swift. "You Belong With Me" definitely fell within my top 20 singles of 2009. "Mine," the lead single from her multi-platinum October release Speak Now, however, left much to be desired. Swift, though vocally unremarkable, is a talented songwriter with a string of catchy pop/crossover hits to her credit. So what went wrong here? From a structural standpoint the song is rhythmically and melodically repetitive. The backing instrumental track sounds sounds like every other country song that has been written since the dawn of time. But worse than that the song simply isn't about any subject matter that hasn't already been thoroughly covered in Swifts first two studio albums. I don't think that anybody expected her 3rd album to be a drastic transition into womanhood (think Britney, Christina, Miley, etc) but from an actual songwriter I'd have expected a more mature and compelling production.